Well Thanksgiving is this week!

I am all ready. I have the turkey, the ingredients for my homestyle stuffing, potatoes, sweet potatoes, peas, beans, corn, plenty of flour and yeast for my dinner rolls, and the pecan pie ingredients are all ready to go.

All four of my kids are coming home this year, and the girls arrive tomorrow, with the boys arriving on Wednesday. Luckily, they are all staying in hotels, so I don't have to put anyone of them in the spare bedroom. Oh it will be so nice to see the kids again, as obnoxious as they are! Maybe my dead husband will come back to haunt us on Thanksgiving. Lord knows that man has come back to haunt me a few times! And you know, even in death, he still wants nookie!

Oh good Gawd, Dana is pregnant!

I cannot believe it, my youngest son, Steve, got his wife pregnant! My baby is having a baby! I don't know what to say! I am excited yet horrified at the same time. This means I will forever be stuck with Dana as a daughter in law! Gosh I remember the first time I met Dana's parents. I never met such ice pops! I remember it like it was yesterday, we were in their living room having some pound cake...

Dana: You know, mom, I never had a pound cake quite so moist!
Steve: Extremely moist...
Me: I found the tea rather moist as well!
Steve: Mom!
Me: What?! I can't be uncomfortable too?!

Oh well, I guess this year I ought to go out and buy Steve and Dana some baby things. I cannot imagine what Dana is like when she's tripped out on hormones. I can't stand her when she's at her best, ha! Poor Steve, he's in for a LONG nine months...!

Betty...

I swear, Betty complains too much and, sometimes, it can backfire on her...take today at lunch for instance...

Betty: Oh girls, yesterday, I had to wait forever at the pharmacy drive-thru to refill my prescriptions, it was the worst feeling in the world!

Agnes: Try ten days without a bowel movement sometime.

Me (sipping my coffee): *snort *cough *cough!

Betty: I just sat there, hour after hour...

Agnes: -Tell me about it!

Me: Oh Lord, I think I just wet myself...

Why I hate the library.

So today I had to go back to the library, they sent me a fee notice in the mail and I have never, I repeat NEVER been late on returning any of my books! After 40 minutes of haggling back and forth they granted me a "one time courtesy waiver." (They acted like they really went out of their way to do this for me, and I've been a patron here for over 50 years!)

So I finally get my two bucks back and then I had to run to the restroom because my bowels are really active today. So here I am sitting on the can when this lady walks out and hits the lights on her way out! There I sat in the dark, shouting for someone to come in and turn on the lights. About ten minutes later someone finally came and asked what the commotion was. I told them that some dumb Braud turned the lights off on me, and next thing you know, this woman starts laughing at me! I held my tongue but thought, "How would you like me to wrap my stockings around your neck and choke the life out of you?!"

Betty called.

And she's bringing me some of her homemade chicken soup. She made a big pot the other day and her husband is sick of eating it. I don't know what is wrong with that man! Betty's chicken soup is the best damn soup I ever ate in my life. My own mother would hate her for it!

Oh well, so I guess tonight won't be so bad after all, I'm still out of my favorite flavor of Nescafe, but then again, Betty's soup can always make a rainy day fun.

Today of all days...!

It's cold and rainy and the only thing that helps me through this weather is a hot cup of vanilla Nescafe with hazelnut creamer, but today when I went to the grocery store, they were out of both the creamer and the coffee?! What the hell?! Now what am I supposed to do? I have nothing good to sip on while I watch Matlock tonight! Bah Humbug!

Back by popular demand.

Well I am now back to being pink by popular demand. Honestly I wanted to change it because it reminded me of those Mary Kay sales nazis who never stop trying to recruit you to join their cult of consultants.

But, I am here to please you, children, so back to pink it is!

***

Ok, here's what's going on today:

- I need to go to the library and return my trashy romance novels, and check out another stack for the week.

- I need to run by Walgreens and get a refill on my prescription, and I need to pick up their sales flier and see what deals I can snag today.

-Then it's off to the grocer for some more Nescafe, vegetables, and my ingredients for my homemade vegetable beef soup (now that the weather is cooling off).

-And then tonight Agnes, Betty, and I are going out to the Olive Garden over in the Kansas City, Kansas side of the city.

Well I guess that's what I'd call a busy Saturday! Have a good day, kids, and whatever you do, don't buy store bought potato salad...it tastes awful and gives you the worst gas on the planet, LOOK OUT!

Wow, I can get service even in my basement now!

Kids, this new Verizon phone is fantastic! I can listen to Agnes' long stories even when I go down to my canning room for a jar of beans! I guess I won't be able to use the excuse of having no service to hang up on her anymore...a blessing and a curse!

Verizon is right, it is the network!

Ok, now if you all excuse me, I need to run down to the senior center. I am volunteering for today's luncheon which entails bingo afterwards! Hot damn I love being old!

Grandma's getting technical savvy!

So I decided to cancel my AT&T account and go with this Verizon service. They have this phone that is basically like a computer, and it even has Microsoft Windows on it! So I took the plunge and left AT&T today. And I must say, Agnes and Betty can hear me a lot better now, and I don't drop any calls! Wow...!

And you know, children, I did this all by myself too! Grandma's gettin' good at this!

BOYCOTT USA TODAY!

Boycott USA Today! They suspended my online account because they did not like my opinions I was posting on there! I was combating ignorance and bigotry, how dare they cut me off!

Here is the email:

Madge Sinclair,

I work in the USA TODAY newsroom connecting readers and reporting, and I'm writing to let you know about an issue with your account on our site. Our moderators have suspended your account after determining your comments do not meet the community guidelines.

The site welcomes a broad array of perspectives in the community's conversations, and these differing opinions are what lead to strong and engaging discussions. But we require contributions that are respectful of an ongoing news conversation. Your comments violate the site guidelines against advertising and spam. Other readers correctly report these comments as abusive, and the moderators feel it is necessary to intervene. Thank you for your time.

Regards,
Patrick

Patrick Cooper
Network Editor
USA TODAY
****

If you are as pissed about this as I am, then email Mr. Cooper at

♫

pcooper@usatoday.com and tell him old ladies have the right to express themselves too. Hey, if people can get away with posting backward hillbillies opinions on their site, then why can't I come back with intelligent arguments?

I am canceling my subscription to the paper, it's a rip off anyways. 75 cents for a few pieces of color copy paper! Bah!

BOYCOTT USA TODAY!!!!!!!!!!