Thursday, July 16, 2009

I let the militant mother in me rage today.

Kids! You won't believe my day! I have never been more pissed in my life (not even when they switched labels on my Beano!) Today, I was at the grocer's and I was in the soup aisle, when suddenly a woman and her teenage son walk passed me arguing. That teenage son had the nerve to swear at his mother...IN the grocery...WHERE everyone could hear! Oh, the names he called her, it was worse than anything I've ever heard coming out of a kid's mouth!

So, being the wise old sage that I am, I used my stern motherly voice and said, "Excuse me, young man, but if I ever hear you disrespect your mother like that again, I'll kick your snotty little tuckus till hell won't have it again!"

Then, to my surprise, the mother jumps in and defends him, saying, "Where do you get off talking to my kid like that?!"

I replied, "Listen lady, I've passed four big heads through my tiny loins, so I've earned the right to say anything I damn well please. If any of my kids ever spoke to me the way your son did to you, they would have been throttled within an inch of their lives!"

The kid told me to shut up, and I said to the mother, "Well it's nice to know the spawn of Satan is alive and well..." So I went about my shopping.

I know it's the 2000s, but seriously...

A sassy, gassy, hip, old Braud from Kansas City cuts loose on the internet.