Saturday, January 31, 2009

Well it's the last day of January...

Which means tomorrow is February, which means, we only have a month and 21 days left of winter, YEEHAW!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Ah winter...

Such a peaceful season! Thank the good Lord my home has a fire place, a gas fire place, so it's easy to manage. Today it's about 23 degrees out there, which to me is very cold. Today I have stayed in all day with Maxine drinking Ovaltine, knitting, reading, and planning out my day tomorrow.

Tomorrow I am going to the early service, and then I need to report to the senior center since it's my Sunday to do meals on wheels for our shut-ins. I love visiting the shut-ins, we swap stories and recipes, and we play cards till sunset. It's against the center's policy, but I always sneak in some wine for everyone. Hey, nothing like some wine, cards, and laughter to brighten up what otherwise can be a miserable existence. I feel very lucky that I can still live at home and do whatever the hell I want to at my age.

I encourage all of you, dear children, to go visit the elderly in your area. A lot of us have no one anymore and it's really disheartening. You have no idea how much joy you can bring into these peoples' lives until you go out and visit them. It makes a real difference.

Happy Saturday!


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Out with the old!

Hallelujah, Bush's reign of terror is over! That scum bucket has flushed our country down the drain! And now he will get to retire alongside his oil buddies whom he and Cheney helped to become the richest men in the world. You boys can have your money because you and your billions will burn in hell!

Meanwhile, I welcome President Obama! I have one thing to say to Obama besides congratulations: You screw up in your first term and I'll wring your neck!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Oh how I ache!

The dance yesterday went very well, with the exception that I sprained my ankle doing the Bunny Hop. But hell, it was worth it, I got to dance with Murray! That vamp Sylvia didn't even show up to the dance, it turns out, she has the flu!!! Ha ha! Revenge! So I danced two hours with Murray until he had to run to the washroom (apparently, the Chicken ala King repeated on him).

Agnes and Betty helped me into bed yesterday, and I put ice on my ankle which has swollen a little, but now it is doing better. If I don't feel better by this afternoon, I am going to call Betty and ask her to take me to see Dr. Fein.

Wish me luck kids!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Who is sassy, gassy, and full of old world charm?!

Me, of course! Well today I have an exciting event to attend at the senior center: The Annual Winter Luncheon and Dance-a-thon! The lunch starts at 12, and the dancing starts at 2, giving us all enough time to pop our Beanos and our arthritis medications to cut a rug on the dance floor!

I am hoping this year I'll get to dance with Murray, he's a 77 year old retired accountant who is still very handsome, and every year I try to dance with him, Sylvia always cuts in. (She is notorious at the center for being the vamp of elderly folks).

Aside from Murray, the luncheon menu this year will feature Chicken ala King, asparagus, reduced-salt mashed potatoes with reduced salt, low fat gravy (what an insult!), and for dessert, prune danish! Agnes and Betty are supposed to pick me up in an hour and fifteen minutes, and my hair is still in curlers, so kids, I need to run for now.

Have a great day!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Here's a little joke for you.

What do you call a power-abusing money-hungry scoundral? Governor!

Ha ha!

Congrats to the people of Illinois, your state Senate will put your crooked governor on trial. I hope that scum gets removed, I do not like any dirty dishonest politician regardless of their party affiliation!


I had to take Maxine to the vet today, which means I had to drive today. It is 65 degrees and sunny outside so I don't mind, but still, I HATE driving, it stresses me out!

Tonight when I get home I need to make a bag of popcorn so that I can watch the Newshour with Jim Lehrer to learn more about the scandulous politics of my neighboring state, Illinois.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It sure is wintery out there!

Hello kids, how are you all doing?! I am doing fine, it is snowing a little bit here in Kansas City, so I am going to have to postpone doing my errands until the roads are cleared. At my age I don't take any risks, especially since last winter when I hit that patch of ice I accidentally pinned old Mrs. Burlfein between her mailbox and my fenders. (The woman was already in a wheelchair, so how much more damage could I have done?!) So yes, I don't drive when the weather gets nasty. So today I am cooped up on my easy chair with a hot toddy and a trashy romance novel, which is very nice, especially since I am at the point where the damsel in distress throws herself into the arms of her swarthy hunky lover who grabs her and and spins her into his arms as her dress tears off her steamy body. I better stop there before you all wet yourselves...

P.S. I picked out a new design for this online blog, do you like it?

Monday, January 5, 2009

New Year's Eve was fun.

I had Agnes, Betty, Claire, Judy, Ruby, and Stella over for our annual New Year's Eve bash. I had all my snacks and champagne ready to go and I tuned in to Dick Clark's Rocking New Year's Eve. I tell you, for a man twenty years my senior, he is handsome!

I brewed a large pot of coffee, which helped us old brauds to stay up till midnight and the snacks, card games and laughter continued well into the night. Agnes certainly did better than I thought she would. She only had two spells of brain farts. The first spell was when she thought we were celebrating Midnight Madness, and the second spell she thought Martha Stewart was a lesbian who did Broadway musicals. (Yes, children, old age can be very cruel).

We managed to make it till midnight, but soon after I brought out the inflatable mattresses and bedding and the gals stayed the night. At our age, we don't drive in the dark, mainly because we can't see well, but also because we're too afraid of being out and about late at night. So we stayed in and played gin rummy.

I knew we were all getting tired when we stopped playing for money and started playing for tubes of Preparation H. Hey, at our age, Preparation H is indeed a pot of gold!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

I cannot believe it is 2009! Holy Moley! Where did the time go? Gasp! I'll be 77 this year...oh that 80 year bench mark is inching closer and closer! Oh woe is me!

A sassy, gassy, hip, old Braud from Kansas City cuts loose on the internet.