Sunday, February 24, 2008

Can't I go out for breakfast without losing it afterwards?

This morning I went to Einstein Bagel Brothers for their six cheese bagel with the onion and chives cream cheese. (To die for!) Well as I was eating, this young couple left the establishment and went out to the parking lot. They started kissing each other in such a way that Phil Donahue himself would blush.

Had it not been winter they probably would have torn each other's clothes off and went at it then and there. Disgusting! Can't an old lady eat her breakfast without testing her gag reflex?

And to make matters worse, at church they served us the cheap crummy wine at communion. Dammit I am Episcopalian, we deserve only the best wines in honor of Christ!

I miss Hawaii, sheesh!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Guess Who's Back?

Hello Children!

Madge is back from Hawaii! Betty, Agnes, and I had a wonderful time! But Lord, kids, it's cold here in Kansas City. And we have snow. Looks like I better have the cab take me back to the airport so I can go back to paradise.

Maxine was so happy to see me that she peed on my shoes several times. Dogs. They are just so darned cute. Ok, I need to unwind with some tea. I'll unpack tomorrow and hopefully I can have my son over to help me post some photos on here for you all to enjoy.

It's good to be home! If only we didn't have to have all this cold weather! Gah!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hi Kids,

Grandma Madge here. My time in Hawaii is winding down, and that's ok with me. I am anxious to get home. It will be nice to relax without having to shake the sand out of my wrinkles. That is a difficult chore and I usually need Agnes and Betty there to help me in case I miss a spot.

Well tonight we are having a Valentine's Luau with plenty of hot natives wearing next to nothing. I will be stuffing all of my remaining twenties in their G-Strings. Hey, it's Valentine's Day and my husband is dead, can't I have even a little fun?!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

This is too adorable.

This is too adorable. I love how the momma rat is showing the calendar change for the baby rats. Too cute! Well, Happy Year of the Rat everyone! Be sure to write to the president, since this is the year the Chinese celebrate the Bush family, the most famous rats of all.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Absentee voting is great.

I voted late last month...from the beach! I am sad that we'll have to come back to Missouri at the end of the month, you know I am having so much fun down here. But I do miss you all so very much. I wish I could spend more time on the internet, but these snotty internet cafe clerks don't like to help an old Braud serf the web. Oh well. I still grabbed their crotches and stuffed some money in their drawers--much to their horror!

I hope Obama gets the nomination. I like his style. Agnus voted for Hillary, and Betty voted for McCain. Aren't we the funniest trio in the history of old age?

A sassy, gassy, hip, old Braud from Kansas City cuts loose on the internet.