This is why I prefer to take a cab.

Buses. Boy do I have so many stories to share with you, dear children. But for now I'll tell you one from this morning. I was taking the bus to the grocers, Thursdays are my main shopping day. (I was out of Sara Lee's roast beef, which I enjoy everyday for lunch on a kaiser roll with lettuce, tomato, red onion, mustard, and banana peppers. Yes, I live dangerously, I know.)

So anyways, I digress. Across from me sat an older gentleman, about 78 or so. He had all his own hair, his own teeth, and he carried no cane, so yes, he was a cutie patootie. Anyways, I noticed he was giving me the eye, and I thought, what? Did I have something stuck in my teeth? No, he winked at me, nodded and gave me a look that said "I want to get to know you better..." So I smile, and bat my eyes, and giggle like a school girl. But then he points to his you know w-h-e-r-e and winks again.

Well, my dears, being the respectible God-fearing widow that I am, I stood up, looked the fella straight in his eyes and said, "Fat chance, grandpa!" With that, I stepped off that bus with my chin held high.