Friday, October 3, 2008


Agnes had another moment tonight, this time over the phone:

Me: Agnes, did you hear on the news that this 90 year old woman in Ohio shot herself, stopping the police from evicting her from her foreclosed house?

Agnes: Yes! The poor dear, may she rest in peace!

Me: Agnes, she didn't die, they took her to the hospital and she'll be fine. And the lucky part is, the bank is letting her keep the house, and forgiving her debt.

Agnes: Is that so?! Well, lucky her! (silence)

Me (after hearing a clicking sound): Agnes, what are you doing?

Agnes: Getting out of paying my mortgage!

Me: Agnes! Put that damn pistol down! You're 81, you have arthritis, and your hands tremor like crazy. Why the hell would you risk killing yourself just to avoid paying off your swanky old lady condo?!

Agnes: If that 90 year old can do it, so can I!

Me: Well, then, knock yourself out! I gotta run, dear, Matlock is coming on.

Agnes: Matlock! Did you see that episode where he...(insert about twenty minutes of non-stop rambling).

Me: Yes...tell me more... (so she goes on for another ten minutes, which means, the whole shot gun idea has been forgotten at this point).

So as you can see, I again saved Agnes O'Rourk from another one of her hair-brained schemes. Do I get to win old lady of the year yet?!


ChrisEldin said...

She should marry a SugarDaddy who will pay off her mortgage.
Lend her some of your sexy lingerie, Madge, and help her in this pursuit.

peggy said...

Yeah, find a sugar Daddy to take care of her, how sexy is that nightie? Maybe I better get one too ;)

A sassy, gassy, hip, old Braud from Kansas City cuts loose on the internet.