If only I had a hitman...

So Dana just called and said that I need to contribute money to her church's local exodus group. I told her that she is over four hundred miles away (thank God) and that I don't believe in "curing" gay people of who they are. Then she lectured me for 15 minutes, I couldn't even get a word in. Then when she shut her trap I told her that she and her church are psychologically and spiritually abusing God's gay children. Gays don't need to be "cured" of anything. At my church we have an openly gay vicar who has been with his partner for 10 years and I adore them both. I occasionally have them over for tea and they are funny as hell and probably the most Godly people I've ever met.

Dana finally hung up on me and that's when I called my son and gave him a guilt trip he'll never forget. He swore he had nothing to do with her church's organization. I raised my son to know better than to oppress others (though I told him feel free to oppress any religious lunatics). He swore again that he still avoids going to her church--she's a southern baptist, they are nuts, I tell you, just flat out nuts!

To this day I'll never know why my son decided to shack up with a crazy southern baptist. If he divorces her, I'll become a celibate nun.

A special note to my fellow Episcopalians: NEVER let your children marry outside the Episcopal Church, you'll regret it for the rest of your lives!