Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I swear to God, I am never dating again, children! After seeing Murray for a couple of weeks I learned the truth about him. First of all, Sylvia never had the flu last month when she missed our monthly senior dance at the center. She stayed home because Murray had dumped her. Sylvia doesn't have a dime to her name and when Murray found that out, he dropped her like a sack of potatoes.

Then, after Murray learned that I am loaded, he came onto me like white on rice. No wonder he was so sweet and charming and talked about taking a weekend cruise in the Bahamas. That crooked old fart was only after my purse strings and not after my G strings!

This last week I learned the truth. Old Betty, the gossip queen of the center, overheard Murray talking to his buddy Ed about how he's going to live on easy street now that he found a "Braud who has more money than God!" That Schmuck! So, at our final date, I dumped him, and he wouldn't accept it. I told him we're through, and he said is not taking that for an answer. So I said, "Fine! Then take THIS for an answer!" And I hit him in the groin with my purse.

Listen kids, I didn't burn my bra in the 1960s only to be taken advantaged by some old geezer who has his sight set on my retirement money. That money is for ME, ME, ME, dammit!

Now if you excuse me, I need to go eat the last slice of cheesecake while I watch "The Young and the Restless."

Maybe I'll get lucky and see Murray hanging from the flagpole by his pants!

1 comment:

Chris Eldin said...

Hi Madge,

I haven't been visiting blogs much lately, but wanted to make a good effort to stop by and see how you're doing. (sigh) Now I'm even more depressed...
Would love to have coffee with you. Promise we'd split the bill, and steal some low-cal sweetener on the way out.

I'm so sorry he is that kind of person, but I'm glad you are strong and won't allow him to take advantage of you. I hope you (your childen too) have a good attorney so your money is safely managed. I will tell you, part of my emotional funk these days is living in Dubai, seeing people who were whooping it up last year losing their shirts this year. But also others who will stoop to lowest depths to steal other people's shirts.

Well, I guess my message was a real pick-me-up. But then, so was yours.

Where's Agnes?

A sassy, gassy, hip, old Braud from Kansas City cuts loose on the internet.