Agnes.

I swear, Agnes isn't paddling with both oars in the water...

Earlier today on my cellular phone:

Me: Agnes, before we go to our bridge game tonight, I need to stop and get some Nescafe.
Agnes: Why do you wanna go to the cafe? We'll be having appetizers.
Me: I didn't say I wanted to go to the cafe, I said I wanted to buy some more Nescafe.
Agnes: You want to buy a cafe? Since when did you decide to go into the restaurant business?
Me: NO! I SAID I WANT TO BUY SOME MORE COFFEE, I'M RUNNING LOW!
Agnes: Well then why the hell did you mention buying a cafe?!
Me: Look, let's stop by Dillon's on our way to Betty's capisce?!
Agnes: Now you're making a little more sense. Wait till Betty hears about your plans to run a restaurant!
Me: Oy vey iz mir!