Just cause it's free don't mean it's gravy.

Last night Betty, Agnes, and I went to a free opera at the University of Missouri-Kansas City's theater where we watched the theater students do their version of the Phantom of the Opera. I know the kids were killing themselves up there, but we three old ladies didn't care for their performance:

Betty: You'd think they'd serve us concession here at our seats so we can stay awake.

Agnes: Well I can't tell which one's the Phantom, and which one's Christine. They're both ugly and they have long unkempt hair.

Me: At least you can see the Phantom's bulge. They don't make him wear tight pants for nothing!

Betty: Please, Madge! Take a cold shower.

Me: Hey, I was just making an observation. Watch how it bobs when he hits those high notes.

Agnes: Hey, I didn't know pepperoni was a part of the Phantom of the Opera.

Me: Agnes, honey, put on your bifocals

Agnes: WHOA! That makes me wish I were on stage with him!

Me: Well I give this opera a two thumbs down and one sausage up.

Betty: I agree. Hey, let's go pick up a cheesecake and head back to my place and play some gin, I'll even put on the good tea.

Agnes and Me: Sounds good, as long as you're buying!

Betty: Eh. What the hell, let's roll.