It's diet time.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it started screaming at me to get off. Maxine heard it and she jumped out of her skin and ran out the door across town.

So today is day one of my diet. Now if you excuse me I have to go eat my vegetable for the day: carrot cake.

What did they put in this Nescafé?

I don't what they put in this canister of Nescafé because now all of a sudden I have this uncontrollable urge to host a tupperware party!