Madge's 10 Warning Signs of Death.

Madge Sinclair's Ten Warning Signs of Death:

1. Your children start visiting you during the week.
2. Your doctor won't let you post-date a check.
3. You can't eat Cream of Wheat because it's too spicy.
4. Getting out of bed turns into a 60 minute workout.
5. Drinking water makes you tipsy.
6. The funeral home insists you make an appointment now before they get booked up.
7. Instead of giving you communion, the priest gives you the Last Rites.
8. Sleeping is your only form of exercise.
9. You've fallen and you don't want to get up.
10. You can't nibble on a saltine cracker because it's too high in fiber.